Real self love is calling yourself out on your shit in order to grow.
Yep. Growth isn't exactly comfortable, and in terms of this an old idiom comes to mind of "mud on one's boots". It means making an effort to get the work done. Lately, my life literally has been lots of mud on the boots. The horse farm is now a mud farm.
I realized how interesting this was when I stopped to consider the metaphor. It's quite the physical representation of the past many months of my mud schlepping growth journey. I've been in my own tough mudder training program so to speak.
This following your dreams stuff is not for sissies. Following your dreams is a lot of hard work. It means staying focused every day on your purpose, your "why", it means endless learning, accepting risk, being vulnerable, working side jobs to make ends meet, taking criticism and keeping your head up. It means struggling with your own doubts and fears. This undoubtedly is the hardest of the challenges. This is where the digging gets deep. I sank knee deep (maybe even waist deep) into this challenge last summer. The reason this blog has been a long time coming...
It was waist deep in this mud of doubt and fear of failure that I realized I was stuck.
This wasn't a "power through" moment. There was no "fake it until you make it".
I've always disliked that phrase anyway. This was a "FACE it until you make it." The good thing about being stuck I guess was that I surrendered to being still. Emotion came up. A LOT of emotion in fact. The consolation of which ends up being a good move of energy and a re-grounding to self. What I came to at the end of the day after feeling "all the feels" was that "facing it" would require predominantly 2 things. First, when self doubt and or fear creeps in I need to remember the "why" of what I'm doing and trust my values. Secondly, I have to practice self-compassion and self-love.
Cool right? Oh, but about that self-compassion... ya it takes some practice.
Self-compassion requires that we are kind to ourselves. Lucky for us we all have multiple opportunities to practice this each and every day. Do you find yourself being highly critical towards yourself for something that didn't turn out as well as you had hoped? A project, a conversation, a performance of some kind? Think about your self-talk and contemplate how you would deliver this same feedback to a friend. How about your daily self care routine? Are you meeting your personal needs so you can be your best self? (This is something I'm working mindfully on at the moment!... more to share about this in the near future!)
Listen up to my strong independent ladies! I've learned if you are a strong independent type there's a good chance you won't be first in line when support is needed. After all, most will think you've got this... and guess what- you do! You're a pioneer. You've got an unwavering TRY, a FAITH, and a WILD NATURE of EMPOWERMENT that you can always lean on. However, it is also your challenge and task to ask for what you need (from others and from yourself!), to give yourself permission slips to rest/try again tomorrow/etc, and to find the other wild ones to keep you company along the way.
The ones who will understand a heart like yours and help you to be well. The fact of the matter is some people won't be able to love you or support your journey. That's okay too. What is important is that you honor the heart within you. Self-compassion will serve you well by creating an inner source of strength and resilience. Love yourself and do right by your own heart. Everything you are and everything you do comes from this place. When you nurture your own heart with self love, you have a "fuller cup" so to speak to share with others.
The well is within us. ❤️
Safeguard your own heart so the love you have to give to yourself and the love you have to give into the world never runs out. Then face it till you make it. Get up. Work for you dreams. Fail. Stand back up. Face it again. Do a little better. Repeat.
And one last thing... If you're doing something that matters to you, that's all that matters. That's significant.
Sending you all much love on this Valentine's Day... don't forget to Treat Yo Self!
Yours in Mud, Meg